


Being grown up should have been... more

by Kare



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky hates adulting, He will trow his own pitty party, M/M, Steve doesn't realize that Bucky is home, an unexpected love declaration would brighten anyone's day, he might not have said anything if he had..., since no one else will, the usual: two clueless idiots in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 16:38:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14877456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kare/pseuds/Kare
Summary: Bucky has one of those days. Who is he kidding? He has a lot of those days lately. He hadn't meant to throw his own pity party. But he does.As for Steve? Just passing through. He hadn't meant to say all those things to Bucky... just to Buckys empty room.





	Being grown up should have been... more

There was a surprisingly large number of things no one had told him about being an adult.

 

A part of him had always thought it would be more... exciting.

 

Isn't that why one pushed through school?

 

To get to the good stuff?

 

The good things had not been supposed to consist of a day job that ever so slowly killed ones soul - or at the very least the last nerve - and a weekend that was barely long enough to recover.

 

No one had prepared him that friends getting jobs sometimes meant that ones work schedule clashed so horribly you would not see them for months.

 

Or that overtime was a thing and could ruin ones evening plans at the very last minute. Even or especially on a Saturday.

 

Which was why he had to cancel his date for the evening. For the second time. He was not even entirely surprised when she refused to agree on a third date just then.

 

And all that for a paycheck that was barely enough to get by.

 

If he and Steve had not agreed to split rent Bucky would likely not even be able to afford a visit to his favorite Steak House every now and then.

 

Steve had introduced him to the place. He had said that it reminded him of Bucky a lot. With the oak paneling and the more then decent barbecue it had been easy to see why.

 

Bucky loved eating there.

 

But not enough to go all on his own.

 

Which normally would not have been that much of an issue either, but...

 

Some days he just needed to throw his own pity party, seeing that no one else would.

 

So he had just made his way back, not bothering with the light, not even getting rid of his jacket and only getting out of his boots at the very last moment because his work boots and his bed really didn't mix... and because he knew that once he started to stare of into the dark he would be at it for some time.

 

He could not even be bothered to turn the heat up.

 

What was the point, really?

 

At some point he would likely just worm the blanket over himself and call it a day.

 

It was not entirely expected when he heard the jingling of keys and Steve entering the flat.

 

"I'm back, but just for 15 minutes."

 

Steve sounded like he was in a hurry and Bucky listened to all the domestic sound that he had come to expect. The sound of paper bags, the sound as someone bumped into the bathroom door yet again and the following low cursing. The shuffling to the kitchen.

 

Bucky could picture every move Steve made. And he knew that Steve’s greeting had not really been a greeting. Steve had walked into one of Bucky’s dates one time too many and he had taken to announce himself, just in case.

 

Probably one of the reasons why Bucky only ever brought home women. He knew he was bisexual. He didn't make a fuss about it. He had had his fair share of doubts and crisis's over the years. But it had gotten to a point where his sexuality was basically one of those things, like ones hair color, that one knew about without really bothering overly much.

 

Bucky really didn't want to figure out just what Steve would do if Bucky ever brought a guy home.

 

Steve had taken to alert others to his presence anyway.

 

It didn't have to mean that Steve knew that Bucky was there.

 

It was just for good measure, really.

 

And it worked. It really did.

 

But Bucky knew that it was pointless to go out there and greet Steve.

 

Lately Steve spend most of his free days at Sam’s place. Bucky was not entirely sure just what those two were getting up to, because all Steve ever talked about was Sam’s practically endless Netflix list and how he was finally catching up on some of the movies Bucky had liked over the years. It never sounded like anything more. Then again, Steve had never really been on to warm to the entire idea of flirting and...

 

The unmistakable sound of the shower being turned on redirected Bucky’s thoughts.

 

Yeah, if it really only ever was Netflix, Steve probably would have eased up with the quick showers. Then again, the man had gotten startlingly good to get the entire shower experience done in less then three minutes.

 

Ridiculously early hours apparently did that to people.

 

Bucky knew better then to complain, because Steve every so often left a thermo mug with really good coffee on the counter before he went out. And Bucky was not even sure if he had ever expressed just how much it meant to him...

 

Or just how much just being near Steve had skewed his perspective when it came to normal relationships, but that was a different matter.

 

If he had wanted he could have gone out there. If Steve thought he was alone he usually ran around naked for a bit, getting all the things together he needed before he got out. If Bucky walked in on that Steve would get moderately flustered and just maybe even flustered enough to entertain Bucky for a moment. Which really was not a nice thing to want. After all Bucky had had different plans of his own which had seemed entire realistic not even five hours ago...

 

Admitting that he kinda missed Steve’s quiet kind of enthusiasm on things would not get him anywhere either.

 

So he just listened in on the shuffling, realizing with a sinking feeling that Steve was almost out of the door and he would indeed spend the Saturday alone.

 

Adulting really had been meant to be different.

 

"I'm going out."

 

Yeah, that much had been obvious.

 

A part of Bucky waited for the click of the door, but somehow it did not come.

 

Instead he heard a kind of humorless laugh right in front of his door.

 

"You know... one of these days I will really need to get my shit together."

 

Bucky could feel his brows drawing together on their own. But for a moment there was only silence followed by... had Steve really just banged his head against Bucky’s door? Because that sound had not been entirely healthy. Before Bucky could figure just what to do about that, Steve continued to talk.

 

"I know you have taken another of your friends to the Steak House I introduced you to. Which was not why I brought you there in the first place, but... well, the place is so you, I would have probably taken you there anyway."

 

It sounded so casual...

 

"But..."

 

Bucky found himself holding his breath.

 

"This is just fucking stupid. Sam is slowly starting to clue in. And I can't rob that man of his social live every time you go out. All the more since his neighbor is starting to show a real interest in him."

 

Steve sounded almost fond before he rattled on in the tone of someone who was tired of his own reasoning.

 

"You know, I am slowly running out of options where else to hide when you bring someone home. Nat knows and finds me frankly pathetic. And there is a limit to how much time I can spend with Clint before I want to strangle him. Stark has settled down with Pepper. Fucking finally. I am not getting between those two. And since Sharon finally secured her bodyguard, with a kid on the way, no less... Those two have different issues right now. I also think that guy doesn't like me... Not that I blame him or anything. Just saying."

 

Bucky never had understood how Steve could refuse to hold grudges against people. Because if it had been Bucky he sure as hell would have been pissed to play second fiddle to a friend just because someone had found a.... oh...

 

"So that leaves you and your dates and me... Look. I want you to be happy. You have to know that. Even if it is not with me, I just want you to be happy. But I can't continue to act like seeing strangers first things in the morning... strangers who wear your shirts like they have any _right_ to it... I can't fake enthusiasm that early in the morning. Really. And I don't have the money to go back to Saturday drawing classes. So I guess I really will have to come up with something, eh?"

 

There was a longer pause before Bucky heard a low mumbling that may or may not have been an "I love you."

 

Swiftly followed by the apartment door falling shut.

 

To say that Bucky was bewildered was still putting it mildly.

 

The entire thing had not even taken a minute. And now...

 

Bucky found his mind already doing the math just when Nat’s ballet evening would be finished and just when he could...

 

He groped for his mobile.

 

He should probably text Sam instead.

**Author's Note:**

> Cleaning out my hard drive again. Let's be honest now: you know what happens next. Your version might be a bit different from mine. But we can probably agree that those two will work it out in the long run... so... let's agree, that we already know the rest ;)
> 
> And if you really can't help it: you are welcome to write a sequel. ;)
> 
> (Because, honestly, I most likely won't... )


End file.
